this just in: human whispers are audiable to the human ear

a movie setting for your cellular telephone that directs all incoming calls to a voice mailbox set up to let people know that you are in a movie. suggestions include but are not limited to the following:

a. "they may have made me silence my cellular telephone phone for the feature film, but they can never silence my love for getting a cellular telephone call from you."

b. "good christ, stop calling me. i already talked to you eight times today, and i wouldn't answer even if i wasn't in a feature length film right now. alright, i'd pick up, but i wouldn't like it."

c. "i may or may not be in a feature film right now, but my lack of knowledge of the technological world makes me unable to have multiple cellphone mailboxes, and thus, i must be prepared. just in case."

d. (or you could download special movie messages for big film premieres) for example: "i can't answer your phone call because i'm watching lord of the rings part 67 and it's the directors cut so that's 22 hours of my life in the theater and i drank to much sodiepop. leave me a message and i'll get back to you in at least 3 weeks when i have fully recovered from this long ass epic tale of friendship, adventure, and ringyness."

tested well in focus groups of feature film patrons who hate the following 'conversation' during a viewing:

disruptive movie goer:

"what?"
-

"oh no, no. i can't talk now."

-

"no no, i'm in a movie. i can't talk even though i'm continuing to talk to you right now, instead of hanging up like any decent civilized person would do. all of which is leading you to believe i can in fact talk now since i continue to talk to you."

-

"no, no a movie. yes, ill call you later after ive been beaten with a stick by the entire audience since i obviously know i shouldn't be talking in the movie theater since i was warned three times before the movie started and im whispering like no one can hear me but everyone clearly can hear me since they are all looking at me."

-

"yeah, i've got to go since i'm going to get beaten up over not only talking in a quiet place but also having a conversation about not being able to talk instead of at the very least having a very quick rude information filled conversation about something other than the fact that i cannot talk because i'm in a movie."