_________ Gladiators

I want to see how the rest of the world's Gladiators compare to American Gladiators. And I don't want that International Gladiators B.S. Each country has to have their own Gladiators show.

A Cliche Avoider

You type in the cliche, you get back a lot of other ways to say the same thing.

I need this. Right now.

P.S. I know I spelled cliche wrong. I don't know how to get the accent on the Internet. Sorry.

I want to understand

You know how a lot of shows and live events have SAP (Secondary Audio Program) usually in Spanish? They should have these in English for shows on Telemundo and Univision.

Kodak Sightseeing Bus

This is an extension of an idea EB and I had way back when we were doing a campaign for Kodak disposable cameras.

The original idea was to take out ad space on the side of a open deck sightseeing bus. The ad would simply say, in giant letters "(tourists)" with an arrow pointing upwards at the passengers riding atop.

My revised idea is to have the whole tour bus be sponsored by Kodak.

The bus ticket would come in the form of a special edition Kodak disposable camera that you would be encouraged to use while riding.

More to come.

Suicide is Painless?

I was walking across the Golden Gate bridge last week when I remembered an article I just read about a proposed suicide prevention net that would be attached beneath the walkways.

The proponents of the idea say the net will cut down on impulse jumpers. The opponents say that if someone wants to die, they'll just climb over the net.

I say replace the net with something that eliminates all possibility of a romanticized, fast and easy death in the first place.

Like a bed of nails (like the ones that prevent pigeons from landing on top of signs), a fire or an alligator/killer shark pit.

Yes, perhaps a twinge sinister.

But I guarantee I'd think twice.

A mattress-free idea

Hair and make-up stylists at places where you get photo ID's.

Speaking of mattresses...

I would like one that always had a cool spot. Small enough to avoid if you're cold, but big enough to enjoy the refreshment of it.

These are some serious ideas.

When I lay on my stomach, it's my knees that bother. I'd like for my mattress to indent at knee-length, to avoid any problems later in life, you see. All my ideas have to do with laying still as best I can.

The Waiting Algorithim

So you go to an interview and you want to send follow ups after because you really like the place and they told you to stay in touch. But. You don't want to bug them too much and spam them everyday. But. You don't want to wait too long and let them forget you.

What if, we understood how long someone can hold a particular memory like meeting someone? I'm sure there is an average. Then you go in and add points if you think you made a particularly strong impression or didn't talk as much as you'd like and so on. That's a really simple way of building this thing. But as we add more of those "what if's" we can get a clearer picture of that sweet spot between when they'd forget and when they still remember you.

Wouldn't that be easy?

I think I would like

a mattress where the headrest is slightly de-clined. I think I could sleep very well this way. Like hanging your head off the side of the mattress, only not so much.

Window projections

Something that would project video or text or something on dark windows in subways. That way, when you're looking out the window at the scenery and then the train ducks into a tunnel, suddenly you're not the creepy girl checking everyone out in the reflection. And you'd have something to look at besides the dandruffy-haired guy sleeping in front of you.

Shopping Carts

Combine the racecar shopping carts for kids and the motorized carts for the handicapped to make a go-kart shopping cart for 24-year olds.

DVD Chapter Summaries.

I'll get to a point in a DVD and I have to stop and it may be a couple of days before I can finish watching it, and so I can forget what has transpired between the beginning and where I left off. So it'd be nice to have a little summary of each chapter so you can sort of skim and be up-to-date on what's the haps, y'all.

purified water/drink fountains

airports these days make you spend money on drinks since you can't bring them through security. this problem for us would be a perfect opportunity for a water company to have an area on one side of the security checkpoint would have messaging to tell you not to throw out your empty bottle because you'll be able to easily and cheaply refill it on the other side of security.

contacts

these contacts would tinted like sunglasses. that way if i need my sunglasses for a really long time i can wear these contacts instead of complaining that my ears hurt because i've been wearing my sunglasses too long.

free wireless internet

at every airport in the world. forever.

Group photo albums on Facebook.

I've got twenty people with graduation albums, or Coughter's party albums. It'd be nice if there could be a group photo album where everyone could post their photos to the same album. It can still be divided up with who took what if that somehow helps things along.

airplane idea

headphones one jack and two sets of headphones so people in airplanes can watch a movie together from the same computer or dvd player without having to share one set of headphones.
.

Wikipedia.

If I'm looking up something, I'd like to be able to look at all the articles that reference that something.

For example, I got to 'clanging' by looking up Scatman John. I want to know what else directs to clanging.

for a taxi company

i'd like to know how much it costs to go from point a to point b in a taxi before i make the commitment of hailing one. i don't want to get half way there and realize i don't have the cash for the distance i wanted to go. a website like mapquest would be nice. also, this helps because i can give the taxi driver directions since they never seem to know where anything is.

At the laundromat.

I don't want to dry a couple of my clothes because they're new and cotton, so they're just sitting here wet as shit while the rest of my stuff dries, and I'll have to eventually carry everything back in the same one basket I brought it in. It'd be nice if there was a clothes line inside the laundromat, near the window, with the sun coming in, so that they'd be a reasonable level of dry before I have to go back.

Dorito

sauce.

A gossip Wikipedia.

I'm looking up professional wrestlers and I'm reading all about the kayfabe life and what the in-character wrestlers thought of them at the time, but I'm sort of curious to what the public and backstage opinion of them at the time was. Was the general opinion that they were a douche? A 'real good guy'? I think there's a way to be objective about this, just to cull popular perception of them at the time.

Shades for Lightbulbs,

instead of permanent fixtures. Allow me to explain. We have these three light fixtures in our living room. They look like old peoples' toenails, and (this doesn't need to be said) are quite unattractive. I took the glass, toenail part off of one of them, and now it's just an exposed bulb. I think a place like Ikea should make little slide-on fixtures for exposed bulbs. I would buy these.

A musical

about a guy with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

This is an idea.

an arctic section

at a botanical garden. i know what the desert flowers look like. tell me more about the arctic. plus, you'd get to go into a cold room instead of a hot and humid room.

So you've convinced someone to see a movie.

How does that benefit you, jocking someone else's product? You, the common man. This works like those apartment rental scams where you get 50$ if you convince a friend to sign a lease. You convince someone to see a movie (and I doubt, of course, that they would do this for big-budget movies), and you get points, which can lead to money off your next ticket, money off concessions, a free quarter for the Grab-N-Tote claw game, whatever. You're becoming an ambassador for a movie, so you're getting rewarded for the free advertising. Maybe they do something for you online, one of those interactive things, I don't know, access to DVD material before it's out, I don't know.

Anyway.

Further.

A big deal is made about a movie's opening weekend, but that's not all there is to it. Fellowship of the Ring didn't make 300 million due to one impression per person, it did it because I saw the movie 3 times. Paying 100 million for each ticket. Multiple viewings is how Titanic crosses the billion dollar mark. So, try to get people to see the movie again. If you pay full price once, if you choose to see it again, you get half off. That's more money than you'd be making otherwise and, with a lower ticket price, people would feel less guilty about buying concession food, which theaters get 100% of the profits of.

Additionally, if you go to see a movie again, it can be reasonably presumed you may bring someone new with you, someone you've convinced that this is a good movie, and that person's money may not have entered your hands otherwise, since you're guaranteeing that they have to come back to the same theater in order for this to work.

Pay less for movies!

It's hard to get people to go watch a lesser-known movie. Prices being what they are, it's especially hard, since there lacks that cert-i-fied gaur-an-tee that this-movie-will-entertain-you that comes with bigger event movies.

So.

Movie theaters share theater ticket profits with movie makers. So, what if the movie maker decided to charge less for a certain movie on opening weekend, something more independent-minded, in order to build buzz for that particular movie? Get a bunch of people in the theater, much more than you would otherwise on opening weekend, and have them spread the word about that particular movie until next weekend, when it's full price and more people are wanting to see it?

What if the movie's tanking? Charge a little less, make a little more before it gets pulled from its run.

GPS for San Francisco Cab Drivers

I don't pay forty dollars to explain to you how to get to my apartment.
I know I live in Berkeley and am therefore out of your area. But.

If you had a GPS, you could just type in my address.

a big city idea

like rubbish bins but better. bins you put things you no longer want but think others might enjoy. this way people won't have to dig through your trash for the good stuff.

an idea for supermarkets

color coordination. are you hungry for blue today? perhaps a little orange?

Soundproof Dog Crates

Because my sister's dog won't shut up.

Live Text Updates for Soaps

Don't knock me for enjoying my stories. I'm a busy man and I don't have time to watch/read updates online.

(I can't believe Spinelli made out with Maxie. Eeek!)

A Spider Locator

You know when there a silver-dollar sized spider in your house, and it lives in a corner on the ceiling for a long time, and you're afraid to try and get it out of your bedroom because you don't want to have to get near it, so you just let it live, and then one morning it's gone, and probably in your bed?

It would be nice if there was a gadget for this. Like a metal detector.
Except instead of detecting metal, it detects scariness.

*UPDATE*

The spider just found me. Now, I wouldn't just decide to randomly kill it, but it invaded my personal radius by hiding under a piece of paper right next to my bed. I had suspected it bit me last night, as I woke up with a bite on my face, and now I'm pretty positive it did. So, I dropped a Harry Potter on it. Sorry spider, but you fucking bit me.

Ice trays.

I like to keep the ice in the ice trays and take only what I need and it's kind of hard, with cracking the whole thing and trying to get one out without another coming out. So I'd like for ice-tray singles, which you can take out of the full tray and plop in and refill and whatnot and whathaveyou and soforth.

Grass beds.

The comforts of outside in the comforts of your home.

Chairscalators.

When you're waiting in a long line and the line moves and then you have to get up from your chair and then move down to a closer chair.

The chairs should just move.

A Sunscreen Implant

Like how females can get an implant that delivers no-baby medicine, except this delivers sunscreen to your skin cells so you don't have to apply it yourself.

I'm sure this can work. It's science.

On Wheel of Fortune

You should get bonuses for solving a puzzle with fewer letter guesses.

I was watching the show one time when the category was "Rock & Roll" and the first guess from a contestant was "T." I knew the answer was "Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers." In that situation I would've solved, and I should get a $1 million bonus.

Another iPod idea

You should be able to color code folders on your iPod, like you can in Finder on a Mac.

It would be a great way to bookmark favorite artists or if certain songs are out of order in an album folder (which happens from time to time) you would be able to set yourself a reminder to fix it.

Parked Car Locator

I went to the mall back home this weekend. It was one of those huge suburban malls with the giant parking lots. I sweat to God, it took me 1/2 hour to find my car because I couldn't remember where I parked it.

I think you get like an RFID tag, slap it on your car and have a little thing that beeps louder and faster as you get closer to your car. Or, have the RFID tag and have the iPhone pick up the signal. But it would still have to beep louder and faster as you get closer to your car.

Muted.

Sometimes the TV comes on and is immediately loud. The options are to turn it down really quickly or to mute it, and then press down on the volume. Pressing down on the volume of course unmutes it and, for a second, it's loud until you find the right volume. I'd like for there to be some way for it to either stay muted while you find the right volume bar or maybe a start-from-the-bottom approach, where it starts at the lowest possible volume and you can build up from there. Thank you.

Tags.

Like how you tag blogs posts for content, it would be nice if you could tag the music in your iTunes for content. I forget what songs are about and, if you're making a thematic mix-CD, say, it's hard to search through thousands of songs for similar lyrical content. So like how you can sort by genre and album and all that other shit, this would be a new tab at top which lets you organize by themes. Love, death, leaving, anger, etc.

Also, it would be nice if iTunes let you search through your stored lyrics.

360-597-8483.

Occasionally, you get a call from an unknown number and they leave a barely legible voicemail which makes you think you know them, but you couldn't exactly make out who it was. The first thing I'll do is ask my friends if they know the number but, with telephones being how they are and no one remembering any numbers, it would be nice if they could, say, type in the area code and search their address book for similar numbers.

Temperature-controlled restaurants.

Instead of asking 'Smoking or non-smoking?,' they'll ask whether you want to sit in the cold side of the restaurant or the warm side of the restaurant.

And movie theaters.

A Facebook/LinkedIn Type Thing for Hair Dressers

And masseurs, estheticians, and all of those people. Actually, this would be great for doctors, too.

Whenever they leave a job (or get fired), the places where they used to work absolutely will not tell you where they went, I guess out of spite. It's annoying when you find someone you really like and then you "lose" them.

dog

pudding.

San Francisco-Specific Post

Can the little ticket machines for BART please print out how much money I have left onto the ticket? (This could also apply to all subway systems everywhere.)

I keep confusing my twenty-dollar tickets with my fifty cent tickets. Thank you.

A Competition of the Mundane

I want to see a competition where people compete on super mundane things in life. Toothbrushing. Dishwashing. Oil changing. Vacuumming. Lawn mowing. Commuting. Let's celebrate who can do what we have to do the best. Maybe we'll appreciate it more.

a new kind of zoo

a zoo filled with albino animals. boxcar (the albino squirrel) will be safe there.

My eyes are small.

How about put the recommended dosage right there on the front next to the title. That'd be some shit.

Entertainment at the DMV

I'm thinking movies and arcade games like Big Buck Hunter. Maybe some food too.

a moon dial

so we all know what time it is at night.

since liz brought up nutella

nutbutter mixtures. part nutella part peanut butter. yes, please. also, it's fat-free.

Fat-free Nutella.

That's all.

Noise Cancelling Rugs

For when the guy down stairs insists on practicing those shitty bass lines all fucking night. Seriously dude? Your stuff is so slow and elementary that a coked out monkey with cerebal palsey can rock it blindfolded and drunk.

a clothing line-

where all the clothes are made entirely of marbles instead of fabric.

An Elevated Highway

That goes right over Northern Virginia. No exits, so it's just for people passing through. And no speed limit either.

Seriously, no one likes driving through Northern Virginia.

A rundown timer

that tells you how long you have left before your computer goes to sleep/screensaver.

So I can move my mouse.

Seriously People

You know how some neighborhoods have these signs:



Can we have some that say "Drama Free Zone"?

I'm just saying- why can't your nervous break down about wait until you get in the apartment?

Shampoo and Conditioner

with sunscreen in it, so you don't burn your scalp. Yes, please.

A movie about

a Hibachi chef who cooks Drunken Master style.

But, you know, he wants more.

Customer Rating System

Like customer comment cards for reviewing customer service, but the opposite. Employees at restaurants, stores, and other places of retail get to rate you on how good or bad of a customer you are. A bad rating would be like a bad credit report. The more you are the dick customer everyone hates, the less rewards, sales, and special treatment you are entitled to.

cellular telephones

sometimes i forget my cellular telephone charger places and i can't get to it time before it dies. i want a little baby solar panel on my phone so it can charge while i'm on my way to get my charger.

if it already exists, i just want someone on the street to give it to me when i need it. that doesn't exist yet.