Monday, June 2, 2008

Sorry Grandma

Wouldn't it be great if you could wake up every Sunday morning, go to church and get hammered?

Introducing Church, a new themed restaurant/bar for the atheist and apathetic, where the bartenders would dress as clergy, the servers nuns, and the bus boys alter boys.

Services would be held during business hours and there would be a 'Sunday best' dress code to enter the establishment.

Instead of booths, customers would be seated at pews and every pew would be served a basket of holy bread and holy tap water.

The food would be always be blessed before every meal, the blood of christ wine would be served out of holy grails and there would great drink and food specials during midnight mass and every Sunday afternoon.

The framed poem 'Footprints' would hang on the walls of the mens and ladies bathroom.

And instead of a piano man, there would be an in-house organist who would play songs on request....just as long as they weren't Christian rock.

Sac-religious? Probably just a twinge.

But I'd imagine it would go over quite well in Portland.

3 comments:

not eb said...

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Kirst Klieman said...

My goodness this is great! Would the bathroom of this 'church' also constantly smell like old people poop.

joshy drops hammers! said...

I think you just described judaism.