Save newspapers.

Newspapers behave like the internet is destroying them, when all the internet is doing is providing another model, which the newspaper seems uneager to reproduce. Newspapers should behave like the internet -- become aggregates for whatever's out there. What's cool and interesting and new. Funny pictures, et al. They can't exactly post youtube videos, but they can talk about them, and they can interview the people behind them and they can lead to the newspaper website, at least. Maybe this is retarded.

A computer with no screen.

Rough idea, and it's not the most practical thing in the world, but I was thinking there could just be sort of the lower-part of a laptop -- the keyboard and processors, etc., but it could display the computer screen via projections. So the front of the keyboard-thing would have a projector that would turn any surface into a computer screen. I don't know who would use this.

3-d without glasses.

This may be retarded, but couldn't they, conceivably, just place a lens over the regular theater screen that has the 3-d shit or whatever? So it's just automatically 3-d? I could imagine a problem with the projector passing through the lens to the other screen, but I don't imagine traditional projection methods will be around that much longer. And that problem doesn't really effect TV.

Walking.

A pedometer that plays 'Every Step You Take' EVERY TIME YOU TAKE A STEP.

Windows.

Similar to my old idea about having desktop backgrounds that can move, this could be something for Windows and I'm only saying that because it's appropriate, but they could make desktop backgrounds that are live-feeds of, like, one spot in the outside world. Like you're looking out of a window instead of a screen all day. Does that make sense? Okay.

a desktop widget

a widget that instead of telling the temperature outside it instead tells you what to wear. and it wouldn't be the word "light jacket" it would be an adorable little drawing of a light jacket.

Dookie cutters.

Cookie cutters for your dookie so that it comes out shaped like stars and little men and Christmas trees.

Let's see those Steal Our Ideas guys come up with this sort of shit. I can fucking draw a picture of it if you want.

Facebook/MySpace/etc partnership with Glamour Shots

There should be a partnership between social networking sites and Glamour Shots. For less than it costs to get regular portraits done, Glamour Shots could take your picture for your social networking profiles and send them to you as digital files. You would get to use the cheesy backgrounds as well.

Augmented reality and my Yo! MTV Raps trading cards

Augmented reality is blowing up now. Topps did a thing where you hold up these special baseball cards to your webcam and through the magic of augmented reality you see a digital representation of the player on your screen, which you can then play games with.

I have a bunch of old Yo! MTV Raps trading cards from the late 80's. I want to be able to hold up those cards to my webcam and display a digital likeness of the rappers performing their songs. Or a digital turntable which would then play the artist's song that I could then "scratch" by moving the card around.

.borg

When they do another Star Trek movie involving the Borg, they should do a promotion where you can end any website's name with '.borg' and the Borg will assimilate the website into the Borg collective.

A documentary

...about the guys who write/direct the _____ Movie spoof franchise. Because I'm really curious to see all of the behind the scenes discussions and deals that allow them to keep making those horrible movies.

This idea also applies to Shawn and Marlon Wayans.

a name for a gas station porno

thank you. come again!

University Buy-Back

Ok, so they TRY to help us out by buying our books back (but honestly, we usually end up screwed over anyway because the publishers decided to add an extra 4 pages and thus its a new "edition" to sell...ugh) but I've got a better idea. At the end of the year, the university could buy back unneeded "college gear" from new grads and kids moving out of the dorms into bigger apartments/housing. They'd buy the plastic plates, the futons, shower caddies, etc. that students no longer wanted, giving grads a little extra cash to get going into the working world and other students a little bonus for making it through the year. Then, as each school year starts, the university would have a huge sale for all the incoming students. It'd be especially beneficial for students coming from out of town and that couldn't bring larger items like desks and TVs with them and keep them from having to do the ridiculous IKEA/Target mad run before classes start. I imagine the university could even pair up with companies like Target and Walmart who could essentially help buy back the goods before it sells to the new students. It'd bring in some great PR for both the companies and the university and bring a little extra financial aid to kids in some of their poorest days. 

Might pose a bit of a storage issue but could be really interesting.

Redneck vacation.

I want to do one of those variations on those 'Redneck ______' e-mails my dad sends me and take a picture of someone with a bunch of shopping buggies filled with stuff tied to the back of their car going down I-95, like it's their trailer.

Signs in front of a therapist's office.

At the beginning of the day, they say 'We're copin!' (open???)

And at the end of the day, they say 'We're closed (emotionally).'

Prank.

I want to go to all of the mannequins in store-fronts and give them giant junks that go down their leg inside their pants.

Penises, I mean.

Or camel-toes or whatever kids are into.

Fuck links.

I got an idea for a web service, see. Taking the model of www.schematic.com (see picture), which lays all of the sites webpages out before you, this would be a site where you, say, go to a wikipedia article and everything that links off of that page would float off and half-way load so that you can get an idea of the amount of links on that site. Kind of Visual Thesaurus-style. When you then go to another link, all of the links will float off that page, and keep going and keep going and keep going. That's my idea, see.

Stock photos.

There should be services where I/people/agencies can hire people to look for stock photos. Nobody enjoys doing this shit.

Text Voicemail

I want an option to receive voicemails as text, and send voicemails as text. Sometimes I really want to know what someone wanted, but am not in a place where it's appropriate to listen to a message (I'm reminded of class, where it's still disrespectful but at least it's discreet). Similarly, sometimes I have something to tell someone who I know is at work but its too long to text (I don't have a full keyboard and cannot figure out T-9 for the life of me, so it takes a while...) I want to be able to have my voicemail translated into text for me.

Synchronized music

This might be difficult to explain so bear with me. In 1997 The Flaming Lips released an album titled Zaireeka, which consists of four discs. Each disc has eight songs. The songs on each disc correspond with each other in such a way that if you play all four discs simultaneously, the result is a harmonious, synchronized piece of music. You don't have to play all four discs, you can play any combination you want to get different effects.

My idea would involve more than one artist, and it could be a new form of collaboration. Let's say you get two or three or four or more artists together to make a few songs in such a way that each song stands alone on it's own or could be played simultaneously to get a mash-up like effect. It would be even cooler if the artists didn't tell anyone about this then like several months later say "Oh by the way, check out what happens when you play our song at the exact same time as this Radiohead song and this MF Doom track and this Miley Cyrus song." Heads would explode.

mini fruit trees

they'd produce mini fruit. adorable.

Sell me your soul.

If I had a billion dollars, I would start a website where I would ask people to sell me their souls for one dollar. And then I'd give 'em a dollar!

Unhealthy vegetarian food.

I've cut out drinking caffeine for the health benefits.
I'm going vegetarian for the moral superiority.
Make that shit greasy or something.

Monster faces in cars.

I think they should start designing the insides of cars, or start making decals or hangers-ons that can turn your stereo/AC/glove compartment into monster faces.

Philosophical Jeopardy.

The answer to every question is

'......why?'

A skit? I don't know.

Ethnic stock photography houses.

Only pictures of black people. And those other races, I guess.

Twitter stories.

Stories in exactly 140 characters.

An InDesign version of text editors.

Where if you make one change that has to go through many, you just make changes to the 'master page.' Maybe I could just do that in InDesign. No, that would be silly.