Hooked Q-tips

Y'know how people stick their fingers up their nose after the abundantly sanitary step of placing a less-than-paper-thin kleenex over their digit? Yeah, that isn't doing shit to keep things clean. What we need is hook-shaped Q-tips to D&C that shit outta there.

Unilever, you hear me??

CMT reality dating show.

Sunday Cookin'. Where potential suitors meet their potential lassies for the first time ever along with her entire extended family as they prepare Sunday dinner together.

A Reverse Save Function

I regularly work on projects that require I save different versions throughout the overall process--often, we'll decide to go one direction, delete a bunch of slides, and then reverse the decision and need to put them back in. And on more than one occasion, I've automatically saved without remembering to change the document title, sending those precious slides to the document junkyard, broken pixel by pixel into meaningless & nothingness.

Usually, I realized I've done this almost immediately after I've saved. Now I know there are things like TimeMachine on Mac that save me from this fate, but it changes EVERYTHING on my computer back to how it had been. Why can't Ctrl+Z also reverse a save???

Laptops/cell phones with built-in headphones

Come on, you want me to carry around a laptop AND headphones? I need to throw headphones in my pocket along with my cell? You're supposed to be convenient and portable. Even simple, crappy retractable headphones would do the trick.

Secondary option: make it possible for me to listen to my music as if listening on a cell call, as an alternative option to the external speakers. Would make many a bus ride more enjoyable.

Neverending booty pop.

Website that shows a big booty girl shaking her butt at you for 24 hours out of every day of the week.

Psychic sex hotline.

Two-for-one!
Yes! Yes! Yes, your friends are out to get you!
You're going deeper... into debt!
Oh my god, that's such a big check you'll be receiving in the mail!

The Copywriter's Compendium.

In the spirit of the below posts! A website where copywriters can go to find the right words for things, containing definitions, thesaurus words, cultural contexts, idioms, and past examples of other headlines and such. Make my life easier!

FFFFound

The ability to search ffffound.com.

Visual Bookmarking for Reference

A way to bookmark websites you'd like to keep for reference but instead of just links they would have thumbnails so you can instantly remember what site it which. The thumbnails would update depending on updates on the websites. You can categorize your thumbnails by subject if you like. For example, you can have a photographers section, an illustration section, etc.

Please tell me this already exists. It would really help me.

Towels that say 'butt/face.'

Towels that say 'butt' on one side and 'face' on the other, so if you ever use a towel twice, you know which side you should be dealing with. This is a serious issue.

Reverse Google auto-fill.

Auto-fill or whatever-it's-called shows the most common words *after* a word you've typed. But what are the most common words *before* a word I've typed???

Happiest Route to Work App

Get to work in the happiest route possible. Perhaps it's the nice people at a coffee store or a security guard outside of a building who says good morning to everyone, there's always a happier way to get to work. This app will give you a google map route from your home to your destination that tells you the happiest route from point a to point b. This app would work more for walking cities but none the less a good way to start the day.

Old book smell perfume.

For the people who like the smell of parchment, but want to try out the digital age! Feel free to lose your attachment to physical objects with the sweet smell of freedom! The blogs!

Trade books for your digital copy.

For, like, an African library! Charity! Bring in your old, stodgy, physical book and trade it for an easily-available digital copy! This is ingenious! Build libraries in Africa, while getting consumers to try out digital new-fangles! The blogs! They'll blog about it!

Selling seats at a digital concert.

Have they done this before? A unique code letting you log in! On a Doritos bag!! Money!! The future!!!

Pop-up movies.

Same principle as pop-up music videos. Facts and trivia and tidbits during movies, without the director or sfx coordinator or whoever-the-fuck speaking over shit. Hoorah.

Mix-vinyls.

A service that takes mp3s you've bought and records them to a vinyl record. Kids these days!

Car Hoarders

Same exact thing as Hoarders the television show but a spin off called Hoarders: Cars. The show would be dedicated to car hoarders. Not people who have a lot of cars but people who fill their car to the brim with junk.

A New Fruity Cereal

called Fruit-a-doodle-do.

A Hotel

A hotel where every room is a replica of a room from an actual movie. So for example, you could stay in the hotel room from Barton Fink or from the room in 1408. This wouldn't be expensive at all.

Blog:

People you're not sure are attractive. A blog full of people who *might* be attractive (but you can't really tell).

tattoos for change

We draw distorted tattoos on obese people and as they diet and lose weight it becomes less distorted. We'll call them "fattoos".