Great scenes in bad movies.

Bad movies aren't all bad, but they're worse when there's hope of something great in it. I want to do, I don't know, an art exhibit? A collectible DVD series? Of great scenes in bad movies. So you don't have to wade through the bad to get a spark of genius.

Resizable, slinky-like tables.

Bear with me. You know those dining tables that you can pull out and make bigger by, like, adding a piece? Same principle, only slinky-ized! The inner table part should be inside of the hollowed-out table so that it's easy to make as big or small as you need it to be. I could draw a picture, but that's work.

A car-key that finds your car.

Like a metal detector. Point it in the direction of your car and it'll tell you if'n you're hot or cold.

An alarm clock that you can only cut off with mathematics.

When your alarm clock goes off, it needs to stay on long enough for you to focus your mind and wake up. So answer a few small, intermediate math questions! Yay!

A washing machine that sends you a text when yo' clothes is done.

'Cause I forget.

Movie delivery with pizza delivery.

I like pizza *and* movies! Weird! When you order from Dominos/Pizza Hut/Pete's-A-Ria, they should have an assortment of what's hot out there in movie rentals. I'm looking at you, 'The Blind Side.'

I'm just really trying to do things that make sense here, folks. Blockbuster should've called me first.

A number that you can call that will make decisions for you.

In lieu of this service existing, please call me for restaurant considerations, to review bathroom tiling options, or a decision on what's-good-out.

(843) 496-8783.

The Pizza Truck.

Daytime in suburban neighborhoods have the ice cream truck. Night-time in college-folk area should have a pizza truck that rolls around with some nu-metal or perhaps alternative rock to get college-boy to rush from his penis explorations to buy a steaming hot slice of pizza out of a truck.

Co-credit Alex.

Recycle bins underneath the seat.

I've got an assortment of canned drinks, receipts, and McDonald's fry bags in my car. I feel like it would make sense and not be too terribly inconvenient if a trash bin were underneath the passenger seat, pull-out-drawer style. I don't think that would effect anything, really.

Car backseats designed for sleeping.

If you're upright on the side, you're putting your head in a tight corner, one side plastic. If you're in the middle, you drift. If you're laying down, you've got a seatbelt buckle in your abdominal. Let's start making sense here, friends.

A brand rivalry

between Smarties and Dum-Dums.



(Please be warned, I'm about to make a lot of posts for the sake of consolidating some shit. I do apologize.)

the opposite of a lie detector

the truth detector because sometimes that's easier.

searching for a fellow creed lover!

a dating website where you upload a mixed tape representative of yourself and you can choose to go on dates with people based on their music taste. it's a revolution people! a musical revolution.

A fine on lies.

If a congressman/girl/person/thing is caught in a lie, and it can be proven to be a lie (or a misspeak) or if in any way they are found to be spreading anything less than truth with a capital t, they should be fined a certain dollar amount which would make them afraid of that lie or doing it again.