Kinkos ATMs.

You get to Kinkos and it was closed and all y'all wanted to do is print out a bus ticket. Kinko's ATMs! Walk up, hook up your USB/wi-fi/Bluetooth your document and watch it print. Yay!

I suppose there's potential liability in muggers know where people are coming late at night with fancy flashdrives. Oh, well!

Make the internet smaller.

It's pretty hard to search for things, given you have to use a pretty exact combination of words to find that thing you were looking for. I want to make a search engine that makes the internet smaller. I don't want one trillion Google results, I want 9 or 10 high-quality results. So. My proposal is a wikipedia-esque search engine. Curated searches that would eliminate duplicate or useless websites and provide some high-quality shit, bros, you feeling me.

Flash mob millionaire.

First, get a million people to be a part of this idea.

Secondly, find someone.

Third, on a certain day on a certain week, every person who is a member of our troupe (re: a million people) each deposit a dollar in this fucking guy right here's bank account.

And then we film him as he goes to the ATM, et al, and realizes he's been made a millionaire overnight.

It'd be people on the poorer end of things.

Bidding war.

Like how governments have to bid out their whatyoumacallits and ad agencies have to file a proposal to be a client's AOR.

So.

There's a site. A web site.

And you put up what you want to be done. Your lawn mowed, your oil changed, your wife kissed, whatever.

And then other people bid them out. 'I will complete xxx amount of services for $$$ amount of dollar bills.'

And you choose the one that's best for you.

So, say, rather than going to Geico, and Progressive, and that other one, you go to this site, and have them bid for you.

The end.

a blog

and not just any blog! what kind of blog you ask?!

well, i'll tell you. a blog for houses. create a blog for a house, every house, so when you rent or buy a house it comes with a blog when you can post things about the house. it would be a historical log of the house. you'll know all the history and say for example, it's your childhood home you can just go to the blog and see what your old house is up to these days. the blog could also be helpful for potential new owners/renters if they are interested in getting a house with "history".

these blogs would also elimate all those weird drive-bys when you stop in front of a place that you no longer live and talk about how the door isn't red anymore but when you lived there it was red. or maybe not.

The worst advertising ever.

Those exit signs on the way home, the ones that show you what gas stations/fast foods/hotels are on the upcoming exit -- they should not wrap them to look like smartphones. They should not look like an iPhone screen. They should not do that.

A supermarket counter

where you can take the things you buy and say 'make it' and they'll make it. Buy the ingredients to beef stroganoff and tell them to make beef stroganoff. They can give you containers to take home to your family. You're a hero!

A newspaper that's fun.

Somewhere between the Onion, the Daily Show, and actual news. A newspaper that covers the news in full facts, but, uh, has fun with it, basically. To wit, and to quote 30 Rock: 'Jack Donaghy Buys NBC, Has Sex With Your Mother.' Not anything as snide as Gawker, but, yeah. A newspaper that cracks jokes, I guess. Listen, somebody thought this was a good idea.

push pins

push pins that have fame hooks at the end of them so you can hang small things on them.

I saw this thing.

http://www.yankodesign.com/2009/11/27/customized-band-aid/

And I thought it would be absolutely adorable if the 'dispenser' was shaped like an am-bu-lance.

A single-serving tumblr.

For single-serving tumblrs.

idea for those mouth and nose protectors

ever since h1n2 has hit the streets people are taking a real liking to preparing for impending doom by purchasing those masks that "protect" you from the outside world. anyways, i think they should make masks that have different expressions on them. perhaps a five pack with various emotions so you can switch it up daily depending on your mood.

this idea also helps doctors when they are in surgeries and things. they could have some with smiles but also they could have words on them like "don't worry, i know what i'm doing" or "you're probably not going to die".

A Smarter Facebook

Wouldn't it make a lot more sense for facebook statuses, birthdays, etc. would reflect the time of the person they belong to? I never know if I should be saying "happy birthday" to my friends in Chile or Japan or New Zealand before or after the day actually occurs in the US. Similarly, a post at 5 in the morning my time about "being up early" from a friend in NYC is going to garner a lot of sympathy from me until I remember it was 8 am when they posted it. And then I will digitally kick them in the face.

A new toilet!

You know those trashcans with a foot-pedal that lifts the lid so you can throw your Sunny D away?

Same principle.

When a guy goes to pee, he hits the pedal to lift the toilet seat. When he's done, he steps off. This means that the guy isn't too lazy to pick up the seat, or risk touching it with his hands, and it means that the toilet seat is always down for when the *ladies* come a-knocking.

Maybe when you step off, it flushes automatically, as well.